Feeling beyond exhausted? Unmotivated? Irritated by anyone and everyone around you? You might be suffering from burnout. The idea of burnout became quite popularized by the COVID-19 pandemic, but it’s been gaining momentum for some time. Before we go any further, let me share the original definition, coined by German-American psychologist, Herbert Freudenberger in 1975:
“Burnout is broken down into three components:
- Emotional exhaustion
- Depersonalization
- Decreased sense of accomplishment”
While the concept was originally attributed as a workplace phenomenon, any parent will quickly recognize these signs in the 24/7 role they play as well. Researchers Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski in their book, Burnout, devised the concept of “human giver syndrome” as those who offer their time, attention, affection to other people, yet try not to need anything from others. AKA the “burnout-ers”. Let’s take a look at how the three elements of burnout affect us human givers.
Emotional Exhaustion
Feeling exhausted emotionally is different, but not separate, from physical exhaustion. It’s feeling overloaded with work and life stressors, leaving you to feel depleted or empty at the end of the day. Teachers and health care workers usually top the list of professions who struggle with burnout, as these realms require a lot of patience and empathy for others in need. You don’t have to be a scientist to understand what happens when you pour and pour and pour from a cup that never gets refilled.
Depersonalization (aka Cynicism)
What happens when you start to realize you are giving and giving with perceived little return? Bitterness. Resentment. Giving up on caring and professionalism. Researchers in the burnout field found the cynicism arises “when people feel they are being treated with the appropriate respect.” This can look like interpersonal aggression between coworkers, and even with clients, students, or patients. For those with “human giver syndrome”, cynicism is their kryptonite. It endangers their core sense of meaning in their work (and relationships) and lead them to feel…
Lack of Accomplishment
It’s a catch-22 when your livelihood depends on the very reason we human givers are attracted to our caretaking roles. Without empathy and compassion, and a hopeful outlook on others, we are seemingly ineffective. We need to preserve some of the optimism and care that makes us so good at what we do in order to remain good at what we do.
We see the complexity in rescuing ourselves from Human Giver Syndrome: care but not so much that it sours your knack for generosity. What’s the solution? Read my next article on “Rest” to learn how to recuperate from burning the candle at both ends.
Sources:
Freudenberger, Herbert J. “Staff Burn-Out.” Journal of Social Issues, vol. 30, no. 1, 1974, pp. 159–165, https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1540-4560.1974.tb00706.x.
Nagoski, Amelia, and Emily Nagoski. “Introduction.” Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, Ballantine Books, New York, 2020, pp. x–xv.