Gaslighting: What It Is and What It Is Not

In an age where mental health conversations are becoming increasingly prominent, particularly on social media, psychology terms can be misunderstood. One word thrown around often is “gaslighting”.  Gaslighting is a manipulation tactic that can profoundly impact individuals and relationships; however, many are using the term incorrectly.

What Is Gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse in which one person seeks to undermine another's perception of reality. The name derives from the 1938 play "Gas Light" and its film adaptations, where a husband manipulates his wife into doubting her sanity by dimming the gas lights and then denying it when she points it out. This deliberate confusion leads the victim to question their memories, perceptions, or even their sanity.

Some common tactics associated with gaslighting include:

• Denying Events: The gaslighter insists that certain events didn’t happen or reinterprets them in a way that makes the victim doubt their memory.
• Twisting Information: The gaslighter may present false information or distort facts to create confusion.
• Blame Shifting: When confronted, the gaslighter often shifts blame to the victim, further complicating the victim’s understanding of the situation.

What Gaslighting Is Not

While gaslighting is serious, it’s also important to distinguish it from other behaviors that may appear similar but lack the malicious intent.

• Disagreements or Arguments: Healthy relationships can have conflicts where both parties express differing views. Gaslighting, on the other hand, involves one party intentionally undermining another's perception.
• Mistakes: If someone misremembers an event or makes an error, it typically isn’t gaslighting. Mistakes happen and acknowledging them is part of healthy communication. Gaslighting involves a pattern of deceit with a long-term impact of control and coercion.
• Differences in Communication Styles: Individuals may have different ways of expressing themselves or resolving conflicts. Gaslighting is about intentional manipulation, not miscommunication.
• Concerns About Behavior: Expressing concern over someone’s actions or the

effect of their behavior is not gaslighting unless it involves denying their reality or intentionally attempting to confuse them.

Gaslighting is a complex and damaging form of psychological manipulation that can occur in various relationships. Understanding what gaslighting is and what it isn’t allows individuals to better navigate their feelings and experiences. If you suspect you are experiencing gaslighting, prioritize your emotional health and seek support. Remember, your perception of reality is valid and deserves to be respected.